Facebook Users Caught Begging for Likes and Shares Face 30 Years in Prison in New Clampdown

by Kat Ziegel

BEGGING on social media could land you a hefty 30-years in prison after a new legislation was introduced late afternoon yesterday; in a bid to clamp down on users asking their friends to share and like their content, it has emerged.

The latest trend has forced Facebook to act swiftly after being sickened by ‘Facebook Beggars’ who think they can bypass their payment process system to reach more people.

One couple, who run a fitness business online were caught asking all their friends to like their business page – with a homemade mobile phone video upload of both stuck in a Pilates position.

A Facebook spokesperson told our reporters: “We don’t mind if you are scantily dressed and are attractive looking. This keeps our users and their potential engagement involvement quite high; meaning you are more likely to stay on Facebook longer.

“However, we do draw the line at those single mothers who post silly little videos of their greasy little toddlers dancing bare-chested and still in their Pampers – asking their friends to see how many likes little Tommy can get for his truly awful fucked-up out-of-sync dance routine.”

Tech guru Donna Heinstein warned: “It’s getting way out of control now on Facebook. All these little Facebook fuckers with their ‘fan’ pages that have about 60 likes yet these morons have almost 5000 friends. If Facebook lifted its 5000 limit everybody on this planet would become friends with each other overnight, thanks to these assholes.”

Facebook psychologist Annabelle Grunemyerhoff said of the latest cyber begging bowl trend: “It’s quite sick, to be honest. 30-years is not enough if you ask me. They should be sent to decades of hard labour.”

Facebook did warn the worst offenders are those who beg for shares and likes to their instant downloadable ebooks that claim you can get rich, lose weight, achieve the perfect life and banish all your health ailments – in under 7 days.

Facebook are looking at a possible death sentence for those twats.




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