A 48-YEAR-OLD heavy-drinking unemployed builder’s labourer from Glasgow saw his wife’s rear end for the first time in over twenty years after buying a pair of specially-designed glasses for the eclipse, it has emerged.

He told our reporters earlier this morning ahead of the eclipse which is expected to brighten up the city: “The wife and I are childhood sweethearts. When we met she was a lovely lassie with a great figure.

“However, that all changed when we got married. Her arse just got bigger and bigger and now it is the size of a small village. It happens to all Scottish women, apparently.

“A guy in the pub recommended the eclipse glasses. He said I’d be able to see the TV screen when she walks across the living-room when she’s hoovering the carpet.”

Eclipse glasses experts have reported many Glaswegian men buying the special glasses for the eclipse.

One expert told us: “Men from Glasgow only look at their wives every decade or so anyway — about the same time an eclipse makes an appearance — so it is a great combination that is sure to produce the right results.”

Comments

comments