Man Knocked Back For A Big Tasty

35-YEAR-OLD David Simpson was refused food from McDonald’s staff at the Springburn restaurant in Glasgow.

Bouncers at the door asked David where he had been, which he replied: “I’ve just came from my house, mate.” But straight away the non-overly aggressive bouncer knew David was telling lies because he stank of KFC. But David had two really attractive female pals so the bouncer let him in.

At first David was ordering a cheeseburger and after the elevator type music in McDonald’s was changed to Shakira, he started ordering double cheeseburgers and buying chips for everyone in the restaurant.

The staff knew he had too much when he asked for a meatball marinara foot long with Italian bread.

Staff quickly looked at their manager to help the situation. Thankfully the manager was newly-promoted so he had the mentality of a general; quickly said to David: “See these four stars on my name badge, that means nothing to anybody.”

David wanted to reason with the staff and asked for a Big Tasty for the road, but due to licensing laws you can’t take food away so the staff refused to serve him again.

The bouncer was forced to remove David and not his two attractive girl pals because they had two old guys buying them free chips and frankly they were happy with the attention.

All seemed well until David tried to order from the drive-thru using an ASDA trolley as a vehicle. Again refused he was heard shouting, “Ah don’t care if you refuse to serve me, I have dial a burger on my Facebook!”

Police Scotland released the following statement:

“Burger crime has increased 100% in the Springburn area and we are working with local charities. We have also placed 26 police officers in the restaurant as we feel burger crime is more important than solving murders and other serious crimes.”




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