Pregnancy Rumours Soar After Newcastle United Fan Reveals Bulging Beer Belly in Public
A 44-YEAR-OLD man, thought to be a Newcastle United supporter, has quashed pregnancy rumours after revealing: ‘No, I’m just a fat fuck.’
The football-mad unemployed father-of-eight told Dafty News this morning: “I just love my beer and deadly artery-choking smoked sausages before heading to the match to watch the team struggle at the bottom of the league.”
Health experts have warned the public not to be confused with a modern man’s ability to carry a child and that of a fat fuck football suporter.
Hilary Jefferstein from the University of Fat Fucks said: “These men are not pregnant, although the perfect round shape may give you that impression. They are just disgusting beer-swigging lazy fat bastards who love nothing better than to see who can expand their waistlines the widest.”
Meanwhile a poll conducted last week suggests the fattest bastards in England are fans of Newcastle United - who currently linger in an unhealthy position in the English Premiership.
