Sagittarius Horrorscopes for 2016


Love has eluded you for so long now you can’t remember what it feels like. Well, get used to it buddy because you ain’t gonna feel it either in 2016. It will be another hopeless year of rejections and disappointments. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Be careful of those who are after your love; there could be a motif behind their actions…cutting it short they are out to fuck you but getting fucked is not that bad – but make sure you get a kiss first to make it more worth your hassle.


Think before you plan anything in 2016 because your life will seem like a never-ending black tunnel. The start of the year will start off with a bang but after the 2nd of January you will no longer feel you can go on wading through murky waters. Spring is the best time for you to start planning on getting rid of your debt and if you don’t have debt you might want to think about getting into debt coz you will need something to achieve this year. Summer will come and go like a whippet and by the time November and December frost hits your front door you will be too knackered to do anything about it. In all, 2016 is going to be a piss year for you.


Only a fool would go down the career path if they had what you have: no talent, lack of ambition and dreams and nothing to offer the world. Just stay unemployed with no hopes for the future because there really is no future for any of us; especially you lot!

All about Sagittarians:

You love to express your thoughts and opinions and impose your beliefs on others. Those are two very annoying traits and behaviours to have and at times you wish you were born in another month. What others are thinking is they wish you weren’t fucking born at all. Saggis are self-loathing and pig-ignorant and expect everyone else to bail you out of the mess you so often self-create. In fact, Sagittarius is the star sign that only thinks of themselves. And you wonder why you don’t have many friends.




Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Sign up to the Dafty News newsletter
Sign up to our newsletter to receive behind-the-scenes stuff no-one else gets to see. It's completely FREE! Just pop your E-mail address in the box below and you'll be taken to the inside. See you there!
Dafty News

Dafty News

Parody & Satire News Channel