Reports are coming in, that, following England’s humiliating 2-1 defeat to lowly Iceland in last night’s Euro 2016 clash, the reverberations caused by gales of laughter emanating from homes north of the border triggered a small earthquake in Glasgow causing limited structural damage to some buildings in the city itself and also in the surrounding area.
Worst hit was a council property in the Drumchapel district, which actually collapsed, leaving its tenant, Mr Stephen Tunnock, 74, and his wife, Jean, trapped beneath rubble. When firefighters eventually freed the pair and asked them if they were alright, Mr. Tunnock said: “Alright? Ah’ll say ah’m alright son. Me and the auld woman havenae laffed this much since her mither got her tits caught in the mangle”
In other related news, highlights of Iceland’s second goal will be screened on a loop on all channels in Scotland, 24 hours a day until further notice.